and yet I feel already that so much growth has happened through these lessons,
so much that the feeling of novelty and revelation that comes with breaking down blockages (opening! lightening!) disappears.... and I find myself re-learning the same lessons without that mystifying emotional release, re-learning the teachings of the father-master, to follow the way the only way the tao.... the surrender to total presence and serenity.
Learning to love the discipline as much as the revelation.
The discipline of purity.
I am growing into my goddess self. Blessed to sink my hands into pachamama soil and sort out roots, soak up her fertility and energy of the terrestrial core. To let spirit shine through me.
And I am growing into my witch self! I perceive the world through a web of symbols (astrology, Mayan calendar, tarot deck, etc.), a subtle veil of magic that reveals (and conceals?) reality. I bless my crystals, roots, and water with the full moon and solstice sun... and then welcome that aligned energy into my being.
***shwhooooooahhhh haha hey-ah hey***
Lelz once commented to me that he's glad I haven't joined a cult (yet). And yet I most certainly have. Reading Ram Dass today, he talks about his time at Harvard when he, Timothy Leary, and a few other adventurers started experimenting with psychedelics and through these experiences grew estranged from the rest of the faculty, grew into a mini-cult that supported its members in heightened awareness. He embraces this word, cult, as simply a group of people with a set of shared beliefs.
The word on our tongues these days is "tribe." I remember I first encountered the word in this context when Eliot was working on his psytrance thesis last year, and both of us felt its use was like cultural appropriation, westerners taking what does not belong to them and claiming it as their own. Because traditionally, what is a tribe? A contained group of people with an ancient lineage that live and work together, who share the same culture and beliefs. And what does it mean to take this word and apply it to our contemporary experience of a post (post) modern globalized world?
I believe it is to breathe new spirit into this word, into our lives and communities. To believe that I am surrounded by family every where I wander. I have so many mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers. To surrender my individuality to a set of shared beliefs and vocabulary.
So I embrace this word and yet am still learning its meaning. Because a tribe finds their unity in their separateness from the rest of humanity who do not share the same beliefs. So what are the limits of my tribe? Of course I recognize those who share beliefs of living close to the earth, of healing, flow, of living guided by the heart rather than by fear. Yet I look at my own birth family, at dear friends from my past phases of life, at Guatemalan natives, and millions of others who do not share many of my beliefs. And it confuses me to say: they are not my tribe. Because I love them and they are sharing in this magical human experience. They are also evolving towards light, in a different way. But the tribe must have limits in order to retain its unity. To remain a tribe.
What are these boundaries? Is it my role to initiate and spread the gospel? How do I live in this world observing the pain of those who are not aligned with the earth and the cosmos? In my observation of this pain am I forgetting respect and lapsing into judgment?
Peaceful ruminations on a summer evening.... questions that remain questions, embracing the space of uncertainty which vitalizes our existence.
Yes.
In the geographic and event-based world, I left No-Yo Gardens yesterday to leap and fall into summertime flow. I am grateful to spend a few days in Cobb Mountain surrounded by tribe, brother healers and musicians in a safe and comfortable sanctuary in the woods. Appreciating the stillness before the rainbow dancing whirlwind of festival-land ahead!
Om Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. May all beings everywhere be happy.
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